Writer Taiye Selasi’s speech provides some fascinating perspectives that might come to your rescue.
“What are we really seeking, though, when we ask where someone comes from? And what are we really seeing when we hear an answer?” enquires Selasi, who is tired of being referred to as “multinational.”
Countries, she says, represent power, and as recent immigrants know all too well, “”Where are you from?” or “Where are you really from?” is often code for “Why are you here?””
Instead, of asking “Where are you from?” we should be asking, “Where are you a local?” The difference, she says, is in the intention of the question, and shifts our focus to where the heart of human experience occurs.
Directions: Selasi proposes a 3-step test to determine where you’re a local. She calls them the 3 R’s: Rituals, Relationships, and Restrictions. “Take a piece of paper and put those three words on top of three columns, then try to fill those columns as honestly as you can,” she says. “A very different picture of your life in local context, of your identity as a set of experiences, may emerge.” In this blog space share your findings. How would you answer the question, "Where are you local?"
Check out Taiye Selasi's novel, Ghana Must Go:
My rituals as an adult include morning meditation and writing in a personal journal. I also read from a book of “Daily Thoughts and Prayers” by Swami Paramananda. I write my thoughts, what I am grateful for, and what I need to do to make my day pleasant. I go to the gym regularly, ride my bike, draw and play guitar. I like to cook, and am the primary chef in the family. I enjoy going to concerts with my brother. My wife and I go shopping, see movies, travel, go camping, and go out to eat.
ReplyDeleteI can see that this is tying into my relationships. I have a family at home with my wife Luiza and son Aidan. We also have my mother-in-law who lives with us, and we see my family often, especially for Sunday dinner. I have a family at school, where I have friends and students who make my life meaningful. We have friends that we met through our son, as well as our friends Catalin and Daniella who live down the street from us. We go on trips with them to New York City and go camping together in the spring and summer.
The only major restriction I have is being a vegan. I cannot enjoy going out to eat as easily, and most family get-togethers are now a problem. I do not know any vegans, so I usually feel isolated. I used to use food as a reward or way to comfort myself, and it is harder to get a quick “fix” if you are a vegan. I also believe in God, which I find in this part of the country is tricky. Where I’m local it is seen as being unintelligent or a bully to believe in a higher power. My family became members of the Episcopal Church in Andover, and feel at home there. We were able to have our two close friends be our son’s godparents, which would not have been possible in the churches we grew up in because they are gay. I recently learned that my Myers-Briggs personality INFJ is one of the rarest in the world, with only 3-5% of the world sharing my way of experiencing life. "That" I feel is my greatest limitation in the world in which I live. I see the world differently. I always knew it, but finally got some validation, and can learn how to navigate the world better. There is nowhere for me to go to feel “at home” in a sense. I LOOK like I fit in, but I do not.
I always felt like I am weird. I also learned that I am an HSP or Highly Sensitive Person. This is a term used by Dr. Elaine Aron in a book of the same name (Her website can be found here: https://hsperson.com/) It means that I notice more than the average person, which makes me feel tired. I can be exhausted after a family get together because it is sensory overload. I notice everyone's moods, clothes, mannerisms, make cognitive connections to things I read and experienced. It also gives me the ability to have empathy for people, where I actually take on other people’s grief. It is exhausting to be me. It also means things like caffeine and alcohol have a strong effect on me, which is why I cut those out of my diet. Also, men in this country are supposed to be “macho” and “not show emotion.” These qualities do not define me, and I have always had an identity crisis because I never fit the mold of an American male. Thankfully, Aron’s research allowed to see that am not “alone,” but it explains why I always (and still do) feel as such. All of this seems strange, but the book helped me a great deal. I do find escaping the world around me and being in a book or drawing helps my mind. How would I explain this hen asked, “Where are you from?”
ReplyDeleteI travel a lot, and I am interested in learning as much about people and the world as possible. I traveled around the United States, as well as to Italy, France, Canada, Switzerland, Greece, Romania, Great Britain, Indonesia, and Germany. I have always lived in Massachusetts.
Where am I local? My name is Eric Pellerin. I am a teacher, artist and HSP. I am a local of Reading, Massachusetts. I am of Italian and French-Canadian decent.
‘What are you?’ I’m often asked as my skin tone, facial features, or accent don’t lend any clues. With an Asian mother and a French and Lithuanian father, I’ve learned to value and enjoy my family’s numerous, vastly differing traditions. For instance, on Easter day, my family continues a tradition of coloring boiled eggs. After letting them dry and once my dad’s extended family arrives, we barbarically bash them together to see who choose the strongest egg. Conversely, once a year, my mom, sister, and I gather around my grandmother’s kitchen table to make a traditional Chinese dish we call doong, or more commonly referred to as Zongzi. Therefore, although different, the two cultures I have experienced share many common values of hard work and family.
ReplyDeleteAlong with those cultural rituals, my family shares a passion for the outdoors. In the winter, my whole family skis up at Waterville Valley in New Hampshire, where I ski race and volunteer for the Waterville Valley Adaptive Snowsports Program. Skiing has truly become a family ritual that shapes my identity and relationships. Likewise, in the summer, my sister and I are working to complete New Hampshire's forty-eight, four thousand foot peaks together. Ultimately, we choose to set this goal after hearing many fond stories from our dad, who completed all the peaks in the summer twice and once in the winter. After hiking a few of them as a family when we were younger, my sister and I couldn’t stop. Currently, we are at about thirty peaks, completing most during backpacking and day trips.
Many of my rituals and passions shape my relationships. Through my activities in New Hampshire, I am very close with my immediate family. Unlike the typical sister-brother rivalry, my sister and I share many common interests and, as a result, get along very well. Along with the close friends I have made in Andover, I have a number of friends from Waterville that share that interest in skiing. Although many of them live across New England, we are still able to see each other every weekend and during school vacations. Therefore, most of my relationships are local to this area, whether it be Andover or Waterville.
Although I do not identity with only one ethnic or racial group, I still feel a tremendous sense of place here in Andover. Furthermore, despite the occasional questions about ‘what are you?’ or ‘where are you from?,’ I do not personally face many restrictions when it comes to the color of my skin. However, sometimes questioning whether I am white or Asian, I have learned that I do not have to choose. I am both. My parents, although with different cultural upbringings, do a good job of balancing my independence with their concern for me. I am able to make my own decisions, do my own work, and hold my own opinion.
Where am I local? My name is Jason Denoncourt. I am a high school student, skier, and hiker. I am a local of Andover, Massachusetts and Waterville Valley, New Hampshire. I am of Chinese, Lithuanian, and French-Canadian descent.
I feel as if I live a normal life with “everyday” rituals: wake up, make coffee, go to school, study, and repeat. Sure, there are little errands here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, while having a detailed thought about my rituals, I noticed that they’re more personal than I thought. As a woman of Chinese descent, there are many cultural aspects that fit into my life. Holidays such as Chinese New Year or the Mid Autumn Festival, are yearly celebrations where I am able to come together with extended relatives and enjoy foods like dumplings or moon cakes. These celebrations encourage me to appreciate my hereditary roots and remind me that I have unique parts to my identity that don’t appear everyday.
ReplyDeleteI have always imagined the relationships I have with people laid out on a wide spectrum regarding age. Growing up, I got along with my brother along with a large set of cousins on my mom’s side. Being the youngest girl, I have been able to silently observe and follow the footsteps of each of my older cousins and form strong sibling-like relationships with them. In terms of at school everyday, I am lucky to have a supportive group of friends to share all of life’s moments worth laughing about. I believe that my friends have had a large impact in shaping my character and forming the person I’ve become, and influence the choices I make every day.
One restriction of mine is being flexible with my diet between pescatarianism, vegetarianism, and veganism. The study of nutrition is extremely interesting to me, and I enjoy trying out new diets and learning about how it can influence the body. Having these ranging restrictions have also pushed me to spend more time in the kitchen and explore my passion of cooking. Though I struggle to have my parents agree with any of this, I do it anyways because it doesn’t hurt anyone; in fact, it has nothing to do with anyone but myself. Another restriction I experience is more so related to being a minority in a largely white community. You’d imagine that I experience oppression from my peers because of my race, but surprisingly enough, I experience oppression from those of my own descent. I typically get made fun of for being so “white” or “far-off” from the typical Asian. However, there isn’t much I can do— Coming back to Selasi’s point, it is our environments which have a large impact on us and that we are who we locally are.
Where am I local? My name is Cathy Sie. I am a student, extrovert (ESFP), and household chef. I reside in Andover, MA. I am of Mandarin-Cantonese Chinese descent.
As a high school student, during the week, my rituals include waking up at 7 am, grabbing a cup of coffee in the morning at starbucks, and eating a granola bar during first period. While my weekly routine is typically pretty standard for a high school student, I try to incorporate an abundance of fun things each day, especially on the weekends. I enjoy going to the gym, going into the city, traveling, trying new restaurants, and going to concerts. I share many of these passions with my friends and family. I usually go to the gym with a friend after school and on weekends, me and my friends love to go into the city, trying new restaurants. Me and my mom both share a love of traveling and avidly try to explore as many places as we can (as of most recent, we went to London in June). Along with living in Andover, my family has a place in New Hampshire on Lake Winnipesaukee. In the summer, my family spends a large amount of time here and I feel this is where we connect the most. We spend time together as a family, going out on the lake and enjoying the outdoors, compared to when were in Andover, where we usually all have our own separate passions/routines. The lake is one area in which my entire extended family all love to come stay and each summer, our bond as a family grows stronger here.
ReplyDeleteA lot of my regular routine shapes many of my relationships. Going to school everyday means I usually see most of my friends on the daily, weather that be in classes, at lunch, or after school. I eat dinner with my parents and brother every night and usually go out to dinner with my cousins and grandma at least once a month. Being from Armenian descent, a lot of the food I eat with my family is ethnic Armenian foods. I think the relationships in my life between my friends and family are very meaningful and close knit.
I would say a restriction in my life is being more introverted. I love to spend time with my friends and go out, but a lot of the time I often prefer to stay in and relax, sometimes missing out on events and social gatherings. Not enough “me time” can often make me overly stressed and anxious, therefore, I struggle to attend all the social gatherings and expectations that many extroverts are able to cycle through. Throughout the past couple of years though, I’ve worked to accommodate this ‘restriction’ and balance my social life with ‘me time.’
When answering the question, where am I a local, I would say that I am a local of Andover, Massachusetts and of Lake Winnipesaukee, in New Hampshire. I am a student and a traveler. I am of Armenian and Italian descent.
I agree whole-heartedly with what you said about "me time". I feel like being an introvert definitely affects how you fit into the world. Especially in the United States, where everyone has to act like an extrovert. I resonated with what you said really strongly.
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ReplyDeleteI’ve grown up under conditions which have made my perception of normal a bit rough. My family members have a history of addiction, mental illness and eating disorder which made for a bit of an altered nuclear condition in my family. Things like dinner which would be ritual for most families are foreign to me and family activities have never been a fun occasion. This means my own rituals have always been fairly singular, like picking up food for myself on my way home or having my own movie nights while my parents are out. The times I do spend with others are always fairly spontaneous as the word 'planning' is not in my vocabulary. My favorite time is the time I spend alone without the pressure of others to be some person or another: driving to school in my own car, doing homework in the comfort of my room and playing my guitar before bed. Country-wise my locality to Ireland is something of a tense topic as I’m heading there for college next year. My father certainly has a connection to the places all over the country considering he has children from a previous marriage who live there. We are fairly estranged from my dads other family which has always left me wondering how my life might have been if I’d know the rest of my family, not to mention that I fell in love with the country as soon as I got there for the first time a decade or so ago. My relations with Andover are a bit more comfortable but still not close as I’ve never really felt at home in the suburb. In terms of relationships, I’ve always struggled really intensely with finding people I want to be around and then keeping them near me. I’m not very close to even my parents and, though we live in the same house, I’m a stranger to my sister. I learned fairly young that my own best friend is myself and that no one understands the experiences I’ve had like myself. This has certainly lead to a very select group of people who remain close to me, sometimes a revolving door when things get tough. Recently, I’ve struggled to understand how to really be a friend because, as a child, I never had people who I understood as a friend, just people who hung around me. On top of that, I was bullied when I was younger so learning, as a young adult, to see ill-will and manipulation in relationships and even in myself has been a work in progress in terms of choosing people to hang around with and learning what healthy relationships look like, particularly with problematic parents in the picture. Altogether this has caused me to have a lot of anxiety and, as a result, depression when things turn messy or tensions rise with the people I care about. Being vulnerable has become a harder and harder process which takes a lot of thinking before doing. Particularly, my mental health has given me a lot of restrictions. It’s put me in a position where I’m trying to relearn how to act on and uphold the characteristics I’d like to model like kindness and honesty, things that are easier said than done. Also, living with a history of addiction in the family I’ve found myself fearing the prospect of moving to a country where alcohol is prevalent in social situations. I wouldn't consider the weight of my family or my interesting childhood as a restriction, but more of an old burden to cope with in term of daily life. On the other hand, the depression I’ve experienced because of my past has for sure has presented me with restriction of its own, choosing how to reach out and how to cope with daily life and basic interaction. On the whole, I’m a very happy and joyful person who loves to experience life as it comes but learning to balance the restriction I’ve been handed and find time to find happiness has been a restriction of its own. So, where am I local? My name is Eileen Bea O'Farrell. I am a writer, a thinker, a musician and an activist. I am local to Andover, Massachusetts and, soon, Cork, Ireland. I am Irish and American, but mostly just human.
ReplyDeleteIn the mornings, I do what everyone typically does. I make coffee or go to the gym, depending on if it is a week day or not. On breaks, I travel with my mom for the most part. We do short trips to different places. We usually stay there for a few days before heading home. This year, I went to Iceland and Switzerland, both for four days. My mother taught me to develop the love for traveling, so much that I do it on my own now. I went to Ecuador to volunteer last summer and plan on going to South Africa this summer. My family life has always been a bit out of the ordinary. My parents split right before I started high school. Although divorce is so common now of days, I have never really known what a true family feels like. I don't remember the last time I talked to my dad or spent time with him. We never really have gotten along. Their marriage felt over for my whole childhood. This somewhat forced me to grow up at a young age and ever since then, I have done most things on my own. I've gotten and maintained a job, volunteer, keep up with academics and athletics, and even applied to college without anyone's help. I value the way in which I am able to do things on my own, but sometimes it worries me a little. I never really rely on anyone to do things and I guess this can come off as detached to my friends and family. I am a really social person, but I still always feel like no one really knows me, even my family. This sounds kind of sad but I like it this way. I've always felt that I see the world in a different way and the manner in which I was raised on reinforces what I feel. My dad taught me to ski when I was little and it has pretty much been the only activity that I can do with him. I only see him on family gatherings or when we go skiing. I have been playing piano for 13.5 years and I've had the same teacher since I began. She is like a second mother to me and knows me almost better than anyone else. Because of her, I even made piano into a job and now teach it myself. I have been going to Maine for my whole life. We have a house in Somerville and it has always felt more like a home than Andover. I guess some restrictions would be that I have trouble relating to people here and finding similar goals.
ReplyDeleteI am a local of Andover, Massachusetts and Somerville, Maine. I am a student, traveler, pianist, teacher, skier, and volunteer. I am of irish and italian decent.
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ReplyDeleteMy rituals are fairly normal. I go to school Monday through friday. On the weekends I usually sleep in, do Destination Imagination, finish up homework, and watch tv. My life revolves around stories. I like to read and write stories.
ReplyDeleteMe and my parents rarely go out to eat just the three of us. Instead, we cook or order in and we usually eat in the living room while watching tv. I have several short stories half written up in my computer, all of which are eventually abandoned due to an idea for another story. I celebrate holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving, as well as birthdays with my family.
As for relationships, I live with my mom and dad and dog, Cleo. My parents are slowly introducing me to their favorite shows and movies, which we watch during dinner. My dad is a middle school teacher at Doherty and my mom is a college professor at UNH. My brother is a senior in college. He attends UNH, and he is planning to become a teacher. Basically I live with a bunch of teachers.
I have a very big family, on my mother’s side there are my grandparents, who live in New Hampshire. On my father’s side, I have my grandfather, who has lost his hearing and doesn’t want to admit it, and my great aunt, who lives with my grandfather, and really doesn’t like the fact he can’t hear and won’t get a hearing aid. My father also is the youngest of four siblings, three of whom are married, three of whom have kids. Therefore I have six cousins, only one of whom I see regularly. Basically I have a big Italian family that has gotten less and less Italian with each generation (but we still call ourselves Italian and make very Italian food).
I also have friends at school and at DI, of whom I am very lucky to know.
When I first thought of restrictions, I thought about being an introvert. When I go to other countries on vacation, it is very clear that I don’t fit in. Not because people speak a different language or drive on the wrong side of the road, but that it is harder to blend into the background in another country. I feel most comfortable when I am not the center of attention. In other countries (even in other parts of this country) I feel constantly on edge because it’s harder to become invisible. In Boston, even in Andover, it is very easy to just go about your business and not draw attention. As long as you aren’t making a scene, no one really cares. In other countries, somehow it’s just not like that. People always comment about how Americans are rude. I don’t see it as rude, I see it as everybody minding their own business and I’m perfectly okay with that.
Language barriers will always be a problem for me. I have dyslexia, one language is hard enough. I’m not sure if I’ll ever really learn another language. And being in someone’s country without speaking the language makes me feel like I’m trespassing, and just makes me stand out even more.
I don’t think I could live anywhere but New England. This is the only place I’m comfortable.
I can totally relate to what you said about feeling like you're trespassing when you go to another country without knowing the language. I was on a trip to Mexico a few years ago, and I felt so conceited and spoiled being somewhere without knowing the language and making everyone have to switch to a different language so that I could understand.
DeleteI was really surprised to find out that you have dyslexia because I've see you reading often and your blog posts are always so well-written. It's really impressive how well you do even with dyslexia.
I also thought it was cool how you said you live with a bunch of teachers. I can relate to everyone around you having the same career because almost every one in my family has a job in computers.
I think it makes sense for me to talk about the Relationship part of the question first. I have a very close relationship with my father’s family: my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and younger cousin. They live in the same neighborhood in Methuen, the town where I spent the first few years of my life. I see them very frequently and feel lucky that I have such a strong family connection even outside my immediate household. In addition to our frequent time in Methuen, we all own a house together on Half Moon Lake in New Hampshire. It was built by my great grandfather. It’s not the most modern house, it has no wifi or even heating. Still, the time I spend each summer in the lake house is in many ways more special than my time spent living in Andover. I have lived in Massachusetts my entire life.
ReplyDeleteThese frequent trips to both Methuen and Barnstead (the New Hampshire town) definitely fit into Ritual aspect of the question. As I’ve mentioned in blog(s) before, I love to go to concerts and do so very regularly. I listen to music all the time and play guitar everyday. I love to see movies with my friends and family. On nights which I have time, I try to write about significant things that happened in my day. The goal is that it will be interesting and fun to reflect on later in my life because a couple years ago I realized I wished I had done so in middle school or every earlier. I love to write in general and try to work on short fiction, (also time permitting).
I’ve struggled with the Restrictions section because in a country or world where others suffer under much more significant restrictions, anything I can think of feels trivial. I have taken the Myers-Briggs test and was decided to be an ISTJ. I definitely feel restricted often by introversion because I often feel quickly overwhelmed in social environments and overthink, and therefore over-complicate, things. I also can be very self-critical which can make it hard to create things because I can get caught up in perfecting the details.
Ultimately, I am local in Andover, Barnstead, and Methuen. Family is important to me. I am a music lover, a concert-goer, and a film enthusiast. I am introverted.
In all honesty, I don’t think I have many rituals. In my day-to-day life, besides going to school, I tend to “go with the flow” and do activities more out of spontaneity than on a schedule. However, in the past year I have tried to create more organization. Whenever I get the chance, I have my headphones blasting whatever music I’m in the mood to listen to. After school I’m almost always at the library with friends. I paint, sketch, and design props and sceneries for DI and tech crew. However, what has always remained a constant in my childhood are the Thursday dinners with my grandparents. My Teta (grandmother) and my Jidu (grandfather) bring foods from their childhood like kafta, enjedra, and tabouleh, along with the usual gossip about third cousins and great uncles that I should know but can’t keep count of. Besides the Spanish traditions on Christmas on my mother’s side, and the occasional hufflah, these dinners are the closest I have ever come to my father’s Syrian and Lebanese background. As much as I love eating my Teta’s cooking, it’s the constant support from my family that I value the most. I think this is why my family is such a central part of my relationships.
ReplyDeleteIf the previous paragraph didn’t give it away, I am extremely close to my immediate family. Being a twin means that I have shared more of my life with my brother than I believe most siblings do. This is especially apparent when I am beyond my home and my grandparents, where I feel detached from the rest of my family. Besides the questions about college, my family’s many gatherings leave me mostly twiddling my thumbs. So, even though my brother and I don’t have much in common, we keep each other company. I have found another family in my friends at AHS. Between my classes, lunch, and afternoons at the library or Target, I’ve found a network of people that I can trust and laugh with. I have been lucky enough that my friendships have grown in number and strength throughout high school, and I’m always grateful to have met them.
When I first thought about what restricted me, I did not know what to say. I’m an introvert (INFP), but so are many of my friends so we generally understand the need for alone time as well as time with each other. So, that’s not an issue. However, I later on realized that I just didn’t know how to articulate my restriction. I don’t know if what I’m writing can be understood, but I’m gonna try anyway. To put it bluntly, everyone knows Mark. My friends know him, the grade knows him, hell even the freshmen do. My brother has a very notable personality, and that’s ok. What’s not ok is what people do when they find out I’m related to him. My brother has Aspergers and he was completely ok with me sharing that. When they find out that I’m his twin, its as if a light switch goes off and stops all forms of decency. As his sister, I make a profession out of teasing him. However, what I hear from my peers can be downright mean. Instead of laughing with what he does on purpose, like I do, they make fun of what he can’t control and share it with me constantly. I’ve been asked to record his voice because of his accent, been told stories that make fun of his social skills, and people who I’ve never met ask me intrusive questions in the hallway. Since elementary school, I’ve developed this small fear of meeting people because of this. I never know if I can leave my brother’s shadow, but I don't ever blame him. It's not his fault, and I know it's infinitely worse for him.
I also feel that the events in my rituals occur spontaneously, especially in mornings before school, and I also want to seek some form of organization. I really liked your story about the weekly family dinner with your grandparents. Mine live very far away, but I feel like my immediate family could make a better effort to eat dinner together and try making foods associated with our heritage.
DeleteMy daily rituals seem similar to those around me: breakfast, school, practice or going to the gym after school, then dinner and homework. I definitely prefer nights over mornings and usually go to bed late. Being the last one awake in the house may seem lonely to other people, but to me it’s when I can truly focus be productive. I’ve been running long distance since freshman year and before that I figure skated for many years. Spending much of my early childhood in the ice rink, it felt like a second home and my coaches were like moms to me. They truly cared for me and helped me to discover the satisfaction in performing to the best of my abilities. This is something I still carry with me and try to teach the skaters I coach today. I hope that they take apply their abilities in movement, patience, control, and discipline off of the ice too, just as I did. Instructing alongside the coaches who practically raised me still feels surreal. It means worlds that I can give back to the program that gifted me with family and ambition.
ReplyDeleteAlthough both my parents grew up in China during the cultural revolution, they had very different experiences, influencing their values and their relationships with me. My mom says that she feels a closer connection to American culture than Chinese culture, making life in our house seemingly more American than Chinese, especially compared to the other first generation Chinese immigrant households around us. She cooks traditional Chinese dumplings but also loves making French roast chicken. She doesn’t worry much about my grades, instead wanting me to find value in things outside of academics. One of our favorite shows is Gilmore Girls, and she always likes to joke that we act similarly to the main characters Lorelai and Rory who treat each other like sisters and best friends in addition to being mother and daughter. My dad grew up in a Chinese village without electricity where attending a college in a city was the only way out of the area. Therefore, he finds more importance in education than my mom. I have visited China, but it has always felt like a foreign country to me. We stopped going to a local Chinese church when I was in first or second grade and began attending a predominantly white one in Andover. Although I can understand Mandarin, I speak with an accent. Sometimes I feel guilty that I’m so disconnected to my family’s history, but at the same time I’m amazed by the growth made in just one generation.
The biggest restriction in my life is not based off my ethnicity or family, but my own mind. I keep a lot of thoughts to myself, making it harder to deal with emotions and situations in my life. Luckily, I’ve found friends that I can really open up to. My own restriction was probably the biggest influence in choosing psychology as my major in college, wanting to help others through restrictions in their lives when I can.
My name is Grace Zhang and I am both a student and a teacher. I am local of Andover, Massachusetts. I am of Chinese descent.
Being a mathematician, my immediate instinct when I saw Taiye Salasi’s method of determining where you are local was to quantify the method to get a percentage of how local you are of each place. I started by listing everything I could think of for rituals, relationships, and restrictions, and then assigned each of these a (or sometimes a few) place(s), then counting up the number of times each place was listed and dividing it by the sum of times any place was listed. Doing this, I got that I am 44% local to Andover, Ma, 22% local to Parsipanny, NJ, 22% local to Richmond, VA, and 11% local to Andhra, India. However, that didn’t seem right. According to this, I am equally a local of Parsipanny and Richmond. However, I’ve visited Parsipanny much more often, and consider myself more local there. I therefore added to each sum the approximate number of years I’v been at each place and this gave me new results: 49% a local of Andover, MA, 21% a local of Parcippany, NJ, 19% a local of Richmond, VA, and 11% a local of Andhra, India. Whichever percentage I take, I find it somewhat funny that I describe myself as Indian when I’m only 11-12% a local to Andhra. I wasn’t really surprised that it was such a low percentage because i consider myself pretty detached from it. This tool was a just a way of concretely showing what I’ve always known.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first looked at the 3 R’s the first one that I found myself making a list under was the relationships. To me I have a very different experience in Andover growing up at Phillips Academy where both my parents work. This to me has allowed me to make relationships with people who aren’t all from Andover but chose to spend their time here. I, of course, have relationships that tie me to the town like my best friends, my grandmother who has lived here half her life, my parents who both came to Andover from Rhode Island and by chance met each other, and then I have my two sisters who shape a large part of my everyday experiences and rituals.When I look at what my everyday rituals are it really depends on the day. During the school week I follow a consistant schedule of waking up at 6:50 am, turning on the lights, leaving the house at 7:15 am, and then school like which I partake in like most high school students. After school, I have track or soccer until 5 pm that day and then I return home. Everyday is some variation of this schedule. When I am not in Andover, I am in Bristol, New Hampshire where my family has a house in the mountain. My parents bought it when I was younger and restored it to a place we could reside in the summer. This house holds many of my favorite moments along with my family members and friends. Without all the experience I believe I gain from my rituals, I think I would be a very different person. In Andover, while I have lived here my whole life, some aspects of this town I never felt a part of. My parents adults friends aren’t from this town they are the people who they work with. When I was younger I thought the only kids in town were the ones who lived at Phillips too because I didn’t truly know how big the town was. My parents never brought my sisters and I to see the fireworks at the high school or down to clown town because they didn’t know about that stuff.
ReplyDeleteI am a local of Andover, Massachusetts and Bristol, New Hampshire. I am a student, sister, and a friend. I am of Italian, German, Portuguese, and Scottish descent.
Although I have seen many Nigerian families with a set of strict rituals, I do not think my family has any. Yes, we pray, eat Nigerian meals, wear Nigerian clothing, and attend Nigerian gathering, but we do not really do the others. I live with my mother and my brother while in other homes the presence of the man is largely evident in all factors. Unfortunately, that is not the case for my family, with my mom as the head of household. Now restrictions. I was unable to walk to school on my own without my mom’s eye on me. Unable to visit my friends at their homes or even hang out with them after school. That stereotype is accurate. My mom is STRICT.
ReplyDeleteI have often been perplexed when told by fellow Nigerians that I do not look Nigerian. My automatic response is "Really"?, followed by a look at the mirror. The point that I am trying to get at is that I have received conflicting comments regarding my identity. When I am with Nigerians, I am considered "akata", meaning foreigner while with African- Americans detached from their history. I have also been asked do I remember at 5 years- old living in Nigeria. I was 5, I always think! Although I have lived and been raised in the United States, I have felt like a visitor, desperately clinging to my Nigerian identity.
I have a very simple daily ritual during the week: I wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, then go to the gym, I might have work, do homework, and eat dinner. I usually have a very busy day, and I often find myself up late trying to finish my homework. Because I spend most of my day away from home and when I am home I am doing homework up late, I have not been as close to my parents as recently, and I have become very independent. During elementary school, my parents got divorced. Having to split my time with them in half, I already lost what could’ve been a much stronger connection with each of them. I feel like this prepared me to become more independent. My mother is completely Irish, and my father is Armenian and Italian. While I have the qualifications to get a citizenship in Ireland, I feel almost more connected to my Armenian descent as my last name is Armenian.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel that a restriction I have is that I am introverted. Even though I enjoy hanging out with friends and doing social things, I have trouble meeting new people. I sometimes find myself in uncomfortable social situations and I feel that this is why I don’t meet a lot of people very easily.
My name is Gabriel Papazian and I am local of Wilmington, and Andover, Massachusetts, and am of Irish and Armenian descent.
Rituals-
ReplyDeleteEvery morning of the school week, I wake up at 6:31 am. For the next 5 minutes I lay still, and with a blank face and zombie like expressions, I stare at the ceiling, assessing my responsibilities to tackle for the day and ones I need to catch up on. At 7:29, I sit restlessly in a line of traffic, flustered and impatient, wondering how the heck my line hasn’t budged an inch in what seems like an hour. At 7:32 I take a deep breath and make a switch, I am in the right mindset to rid of rbf and replace it with at least a grin to bring with me as I take on AHS. Between these times, life can be as unpredictable as I am. But I like to keep it this way. Rigid, repetitive schedules really creep me out, as I am a person who changes their rituals daily. I know deep down, however, that sometimes my rituals restrict me from leading a much less stressful life. Effective repetition in my schedule can lead me to consistently arrive at school on time, finish all my homework and go to bed before midnight. Now I question that when I escape my locality in Andover Massachusetts, and venture off to Schenectady, New York, will my mess of a ritual transfer, or will I perhaps take a different approach?
Relationships-
I really enjoy making new friends and strive to bring an approachable, bubbly energy wherever I go. But outside of my immediate family, I tend to struggle with sustaining positive relationships with some relatives. As of now I don’t have a grandfather, and unfortunately, I don’t really care that I don’t, and I hope that doesn’t make me sound heartless. My mom’s father was an alcoholic, and without going into personal details, he had created hell for his family that he ultimately one random day just deserted. He was strange. From the little memories I have from my childhood, I remember he always pretended to be the cookie monster from Sesame street and that the cookie monster started visiting less and less until he disappeared once again.
Once my dad’s father found a new wife, that was his family, even though just an hour drive north, he was 1000 miles away. I will never forget when he had to take a second to remember who was Anna and who was Kate (my sister). When he died from an unexpected heart attack, I hadn’t seen him in at least five years. In the new places I find myself to be local, at college, where I get my first job etc I will always enjoy developing new relationships. However, I hope I can find a way to be a local of my extended family, as I don’t want them to be tainted and broken.
Restrictions-
This was the most difficult category for me to brainstorm, however I have found that in Andover I have felt most limited and frustrated as a female in athletics. Whether in gym class or on the field women in sports have been viewed as less important. Especially in the attendance of games, the crowds are packed for men's football, hockey, and basketball games but very little attendance for the women’s games. In 2017, our field hockey team were the undefeated state champions, but I really don’t think anyone besides our parents and closest friends cared that much. And while playing field hockey wasn’t about playing for an audience, there is something about the hype of a crowd that makes the game so intense and exhilarating. We were working just as hard as any men’s team that fall, but very little people ever showed up. It’s also frustrating that no matter how much I train and condition it will never be enough, as men are said to be naturally stronger. No matter how much determination I put in to prove this wrong I will always fall short.
I was first introduced to this TEDtalk last year while I was listening to some looking for inspirations for my college essay. All worked out after I found this. I had my town and I was able to think of my life in a completely different setting. In addition, this quickly became one of my favorite talks ever!
ReplyDeleteI think in order to give the most well rounded view I have to talk about my restricts overall then break it down to the places I am "from" and have lived.
My restrictions:
Overall, though I am lighter in complexion, I am still by default a young black woman. I personally love this fact about me; no matter how tumultuous and difficult it can be, it is me and something that I will not take away from myself. But it leaves me at great disadvantage at times especially in education. In that same way I am also Puerto Rican, and have the expectation from my family to only be Puerto Rican. However it has always been harder for me to learn spanish. For this I have had a very hard time explaining and accepting my culture. But I have learned and become better for this. My hair is another specifically when living in communities like Andover. I have to work to take care of it, then finding the right products in Cvs, is another adventure. The “Naturally inspired” section has become my best friend as well as my banks worst enemy.
I do not come from a wealthy background. Neither did my parents. However we make a good enough living to be where we are. My parents are also separated and soon will be divorced which makes that aspect harder in a way.
Those are my restrictions. Now time for my rituals.
Being in ABC my rituals here in Andover consist of waking up, on days where I don’t feel bogged down in my mind, I do this quite naturally. Other days I am extremely slow and the world tends to feel very grey. I go to school, do as I am told and go to my dorm. All while missing my family and desperately wishing to be home. At night I do my homework in my room and contemplate what to where, and if I think the next day will be better than the day I went through. I sketch and paint, sometimes I even play guitar. I call my mother and she reminds me there are only a few months left and then I am back home.
In New York, I am noticeably happier. I sleep in the same bed as my mother simply by choice and her room in the winter is always the coldest,( her’s is the biggest) so she likes the extra body heat. (In the summer mine is the coolest given my ac so I sleep in my own room.) So I wake up to her work alarms and the dog , the 2 cats and the bird eager for breakfast. She and I exchange words and then feed the animals. I help then do my normal morning routine. These days are rarely bogged down. I always wake up naturally and happily.
Finally my relationships.
My family is full of self proclaimed Nuyoricans and we are very proud of it. All of my immediate family is there and I visit them while I am home and spend most of my time surrounded by them both directly and indirectly. Some of my family also isn’t even blood related which makes my extended family very large. It’s Comforting in a way.
Here in Andover, I have only friends and very important people that I wish to maintain relationships with. However there are many here that will end directly after graduation. Some of those I am content with losing, others not so much. But life goes on. Other than those few people, I have very few ties I want to maintain in Andover. In ways I feel sorry for it, but the experience is what I am speaking from.
So when I ask: Where am I local? I say: I am Skye Padovani, I am a student, I have a big family, and love to take care of my hair and mind. I am local to New York and its Puerto Rican community, as well as its African American community. I am also partially local to Andover, MA and soon whatever state I go to college in.
Although I may not have much of a heritage or culture, especially none that could be guessed by appearance, I do have a lot of differences to my peers. To everyone around me, I walk and talk and act just like any other Andover student. Right there is where they are wrong, because although I do go to school in Andover, I don’t know if I would classify myself as a typical “Andover Student”. I don’t even live in Andover, I live in nearby Lowell. Not once have I encountered someone in Andover who though I was from a different town, and those who do know where I live have either been told explicitly or have physically been to my house themselves. But what difference does a change in town make? Shouldn’t I still be relatively similar to everyone I go to school with? How different could my three R’s actually be? Being non-religious, my rituals are mostly home-based, such as making sure the cars that sit outside my house, without a driveway or garage to keep them safe, are locked so that they are not broken in to and rooted around in again. It may be my own absence of asking, but I have yet to have a conversation with an Andover resident about needing to install a safety system on their home after two other houses on their own street had been robbed. The relationships I have with the people of Andover seem a lot more disconnected, I never hear my Andover friends talk about needing to use public transportation to get to school, the only other option being a bike that is seldom used for anything but necessary transportation, to avoid having it stolen. The diversity of Lowell makes me feel like I’m living among different people with different ways of life, different sources of happiness. When I go over to Andover, all my classmates do is complain. Having the opportunity to experience both school systems has left me almost no room to complain about the quality of education I am able to receive. My mom also being a teacher has allowed me to see outside the vacuum of “AHS sucks, this school is so bad”. But with all that I am able to do with my acess to Andover, their are also a fair share of restrictions. Despite the commute to Andover being a short 20 minute drive, there is absolutely a silent responsibility for me to drive out to Andover and meet my friends there most of the time, and not so much the vice-versa. Although trips to my neck of the woods do happen occasionally, I do feel unrightfully bad about making 5 people drive a long way over instead of just me taking the hike over to them. Another restriction of living in Lowell is my ability to express myself truly and honestly to others. With the looming threat of being yanked out of the school for being an out-of-town student, I need to carefully pick who I tell where I actually live, to prevent another Andover Mums outcry. This restriction prevents me from showing who I actually am, the me which cannot be defined or described by a simple location, or piece of writing which inadvertently paints me too look worse off than I actually am. So, when I am asked where I am from local, I say with truth and restrain, “Lowell”.
ReplyDeleteAs a high school senior, during the school year, I live a pretty structured life. I go to school each weekday morning and then come home and usually go to work for the rest of night. While this may not be everyone’s ideal fun after-school activity, I don’t mind my job and like seeing my friends. I don’t go out as much I would like and instead fill my schedule with working. When I have free time however, I do like to go out to eat with my friends or just stay home and relax. I don’t participate in as many extracurricular activities and have found myself neglecting clubs that I have been part of since freshman year. I wish that I could look back at what I’ve accomplished in high school and be content, but I can’t help but wish I did more with my time here. I wish I had more rituals and hope to incorporate them into my life as I go through college and begin to start adulthood.
ReplyDeleteMy rituals have begun to impact my relationships more and more over the past couple years. Spending more time at work, I find that the people that I see there are the people I want to spend my time around. I have met some of my best friends there, who I hope to know for a while. Even though I have lived in Andover my entire life, I don’t really have any close friends from school and haven’t hung out with someone outside of school in a long time. I haven’t tried as hard to immerse myself into being a typical high school student and haven’t taken the time to get to know my peers as much as I should have.
I have found my social anxiety to be a restriction, especially in high school. It has caused many issues for me and stops me from pursuing new opportunities. Once I open up, I can be very bubbly and friendly, but it can take me far too long to reach this, and I usually shut down instead. I care way too much about what other people think and often fear that they will judge my thoughts, appearance, and actions. Anxiety can be crippling and it really prevents me from being the best version of myself.
Where I am local? My name is Isabelle Gillis. I am a student, friend and supporter. I am a local of Andover, Massachusetts. I am of Italian and Irish descent.